Taking Self Care from a Dream to Reality

Typically we think about time to ourselves as a luxury. Rarely do we have it consistently on our calendars. Any one else ever feel like they just have too much to do, to take time to hit the pause button on life? Working from this state of mind will leave you feeling burnt out and extremely overwhelmed! Although it's great to have a life that is full, we still need to make sure that we know how to STOP and REST. A lot of times when I am approached by potential clients they want to know how they can create order and peace in their lives. I have learned that there are many things that I could do with my time, but I also know myself enough to know, that each season of my life has to offer time for me to recharge. Sure, you have those busy seasons in life when you feel like you can barely catch your breath but, that's not how every day life is supposed to be. If you are maxed to capacity in your every day, every year then it's time for some introspection and maybe a life coach!

What does Self Care look like? Self care looks like valuing yourself enough to know that you should have a date with yourself on your calendar regularly. When I say regularly I mean you should have a date daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly. Before you get discouraged let me explain how you will go from setting aside daily time for yourself to incorporating self care as a part of your life style. This is not the time to run errands for yourself,  family members, volunteer in the community, or to dispense advice to friends and family. This is time spent pouring into yourself so that you can be the best version of you for those you are in relationship with.

How often are you taking time to invest in doing things that recharge your mind, body, and spirit?  When you make time for yourself it is so much easier to care for and help others.  I am so passionate about helping women in this area because I meet so many women who are just exhausted from the every day pressures and challenges that we all face. Taking care of yourself will allow for you to live a grace filled life and will also help you to make clear and well informed decisions.

Setting a Date With your Self: Let's clear the air by first naming all of the reasons why we don't take time for ourselves: family obligations, time, money, energy, guilt etc. Now that we've gotten those out in the open are you ready to do something about it? Some of us don't know there is a problem with how we've been operating our everyday lives until we are exhausted and ready to throw in the towel. Hopefully as you are reading this you are not at this point. If you are that's okay.  There is hope! Hope comes in the form of thinking about something you can do for yourself for a minimum of 20 minutes today. That's all it will take each day to get you started. Set aside this time to do something that makes you feel energetic  and brings you joy.

Want to Learn More? I will be hosting a FREE Webinar on Saturday, March 12th at 1pm est where I will walk you through the importance of valuing yourself and setting aside time for yourself on a consistent basis, I will also lead you in an activity where you can determine what type of activities work best for you during your self care time. There will also be a fun self care challenge and giveaway! You don't want to miss it! Are you ready to get started? Click on the image below to save your spot!! Looking forward to meeting you this Saturday!

When Worry Wants to Steal Your Joy

Did you know that the root of worry comes from a lack of trust in God?

Do you ever find yourself worrying?

What are some of the things that you worry about?

Do you know what God's word says about worrying?

The root of worrying comes from a lack of trusting that God has enough for us all. Enough provision, time, love, you name it! If there is something you are worrying about you are trusting in your own ability instead of God's ability and timing.

I tend to be a bit of a worrier. Surprise Surprise! You would have never guessed, right? Well, sometimes overwhelm has a way of getting the best of me when I look at all I need to get done.  With four kids it seems like the list never ends. Between making my husband a priority, keeping my house in order, feeding my kids (yes they must eat three times a day), and all of the other tasks that come with being a woman, wife, and mother life can get a bit stressful.

Just last week as my husband and I were getting the kids ready for school, my middle daughter handed me an additional assignment that needed to be completed for school. So immediately my brain went into worry mode. I started complaining a bit about not having time to fit the assignment in my already hectic schedule when my husband looked at me and said "today I want you to really focus on not worrying, we will get it done."

Before I even had the opportunity to get defensive, the Holy Spirit flooded my mind with scriptures where He reminded me to trust Him. Too often we worry about things we have limited to no control over anyways. I was reminded by God that the things He gives us to do, are not meant to stress us out and make us crazy. But, if we don't seek Him for direction and strategy, then we will go crazy trying to accomplish things in our own strength. God is well aware of the amount of time we have to get things done. He created time, as well as the work He wants us to do! In His word it says that he created great works for us to do in advance! You can trust that He takes great pleasure in us completing the tasks He has set before us. We must trust, in His ways in getting things done. Which will bring us peace and joy not overwhelm and anxiety.

Trust that whatever He has put under your stewardship He will help you complete.  If you are wondering how to get your joy back and strengthen your trust in the Lord, here are a couple of ways I kick worry to the curb. I hope they help you too!

1. SLOW DOWN: When anxiety kicks up, this is a clear indicator to me that I need to slow down. I have learned in every season there is a rhythm that the Holy Spirit would like us to follow. In order to find that rhythm we must slow down and get before God so that we can hear his voice. I use this quiet time to meditate and pray.
2.  THINK POSITIVE: Another thing that God challenges us to do when worry wants to rear it's ugly head is to think positive! He tells us to think of things of good report. I'm often reminded during my time of worry that things have always worked out for my good. Not always exactly when I've wanted them, but nevertheless they have worked out in my favor. Learning how to not let you mind spiral into the dark abyss of "what if" serves us well as adults! This is such a valuable lesson we can learn. Once we've mastered it we can pass it on to the next person who struggles with worry.

At the end of the day make sure you don't allow your thoughts to control you! We are in control of our thoughts and emotions and it's up to us to make the choice not to allow worry to rule in our lives.

Would you like to restore order and peace and leave the season of worry behind in your life? Sign up for a free Discovery Coaching call let's see how I can help you?

How do you eliminate worry from your every day? Share in the comments below your strategy or your go to verse! I would love to hear from you.

New Year Fresh Vision

Why You Need A Plan:

I must admit, the first time the idea of creating a Vision Board was brought to my attention I was a bit skeptical.  I am a planner, so at the beginning of each year I do take the time to sit down and write out my 5 SMART goals. But sitting down and cutting out things to place on a board, I was not sold.  There was something different about this year though. I have journals for days, that I love to go back and look at and see what things I have done. I enjoy seeing what has materialized through setting out action steps to reach my goals.  This year I decided I wanted to do something a bit different.  I wanted to create a Vision Board and have my Vision for the year, dreams, and goals right at my finger tips. I also wanted to surround myself with like minded women, who I know are go getters, who see the potential in other women, and who help motivate and speak life into each other. With all of this in mind a decided to host a Vision Board Party.

There is power in numbers. There is also power in calling out your vision/dreams. When we are able to get to a place where are ideas are no longer in our head but on paper we are moving from the idea, to mapping out an actual plan.  It also helps to have people that will hold you accountable and cheer you on!

Hosting a Vision Board Party is so much fun. Here are 5 reasons why you should consider creating a Vision Board and hosting a party in 2016:

1. Clarity: Have you ever had an idea that kept resurfacing in your mind? Most of us have ideas and things that we say we would love to do "if time ever permitted." One sure way to never have time to set your plan into action is by not writing it down. Writing your vision down helps you get clear on what steps you need to take in order to meet your goal. Some can see their goals through images others need to put pen to paper, setting aside time to get it out of your head provides mental clarity. It also helps you to focus on your next steps.
2. Visual Reminder: Journaling is great! I do it every year, but this new element of actually seeing my goals everyday instead of having to go find my journal and filter through has been amazing! I've already walked past my board at least 20 times since I created it. I now have a visual reminder to do the things I've said I'm going to do.
3. Accountability: You can certainly create your vision board on your own. However if you choose to do one in the company of family or friends you now have accountability partners. You also have people who may have already done some of things you are hoping to do that may be able to provide insight in helping you move along a bit faster.  Often times we are afraid to put our ideas out there for fear of people judging our thoughts and ideas.  This is definitely a project that you will want to work with like minded people on. Be sure to surround yourself with people who will speak life into you and encourage you in building your dreams.
4. Fellowship: With society moving as fast as it is these days it's nice to take time out to fellowship and strengthen relationships. We were made for relationships.  Having a Vision Board Party gives you an opportunity to see what your friends are up to and its a great reason to have some time to dream and have some fun!
5. Visualization: This here is very powerful! The reason I was skeptical about Vision Boards to begin with was because I always thought you just put a bunch of things on the board that you wanted. But, as I researched a bit more, I discovered that you actually put things on the board that you want to "attract" into your life. So there is some thought involved in looking at how you want your year to look. What things would you like to accomplish? How would you like to feel this year? So go ahead and put those things that motivate and inspire you on your Vision Board.

Don't be afraid to make 2016 your best year yet! It's never too late to start dreaming and envisioning a purpose filled life!

Have you created a Vision Board? What are some of the steps you take to gather inspiration for your board?  Feel free to share in the comments.

Are you interested in hosting a Vision Board Party/Workshop? Contact me here for details.

What it Means to Set your Eyes on Things Above

Those that know me well know that I talk a lot about the birth of my twins changing me. Prior to having the twins I lived a life that was quite comfortable. I was in a place where I knew that I could manage my marriage, my two kids, and my household. But as life would have it, it's not about what I could do. Because we are created for God's glory its through our life circumstances that we discover who He is. Through times of transition, difficulties, and struggles we come to know a God who is faithful.

So, back to the character shaping God took me through. People often ask me how I took the news when we found out we were having twins. If I can be honest I was fearful! Yes they are a blessing. Yes there are many people who would love to be in my position, but hearing the news just made me want to run.

I had a hard time enjoying the pregnancy because I feared so many things that in hindsight were just traps and schemes of the enemy. I feared they might come early, I feared I would have no help, I feared that I was not cut out to be the mother of four, and the biggest fear I had was that I would be giving up my life to have these babies. When in reality I would come to learn that life for me was just getting started.

Being the person that I am, I know how to push through when things get difficult. So, after their birth and over the course of the next few years I pushed through all that felt challenging in this new season.

I had lots of moments of joy, but it was not consistent and I often felt overwhelmed -and felt like I couldn't see the end- but then I realized God does not want us to live a life where we are just pushing through.

From that realization I also realized I was not relying on Him enough. I had allowed fear to come in and paralyze me in ways I didn't recognize.

That's the funny thing about the enemy, he never parades himself in a way that would cause alarm. He feeds us lies that tear down our resolve in a crafty way, typically in a way that causes us to become self focused.

So as I was focusing on myself, I felt one day - the gentle correction of the Holy Spirit reminding me of His best for me. In God's word He tells us "For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, of love and of self discipline." 2 Tim 1:7 there is nothing that He has not equipped us for!

With that in mind I knew I needed to take back my power. My focus needed to move from my day to day to the bigger picture. Well, you might be thinking, how do you shift your focus when everything around you feels so heavy?

Here is what I did to get me started. Instead of looking at my situation as burdensome I decided to shift my perspective. No it didn't happen over night, but through prayer, and the support system God placed in my life I've been able to - be encouraged and see the blessings and fullness that the addition of two little ones-- brought me.

We have to be willing to do the hard work, which means we take a look at our situation and the role we play in it. Are we spiritually full? Do we only go to God when we are overwhelmed? Are we aware of how the enemy works? We have to remember that he is always looking for places of weakness so we can't let our guard down not even for a moment.

When we set our eyes and hearts on things above we are keeping kingdom things at the center of our focus. Circumstances are just that, and they are not meant to take us out. When we keep in step with the Holy Spirit through prayer and reading God's word we get clarity for the days ahead.

Anytime you are going through a season of struggle I encourage you to stop and shift your perspective and invite God in to help you gain heavenly insight and wisdom. Because He is a gracious God He works all things for the good of those who love Him!

-Selah

5 Steps for a Smooth Transition

Every season of life comes with transition. From school graduations, to getting that first job, from single to married, or becoming a parent.  The types of transitions that take place in a life time go on and on. How we navigate our life transitions, will either have positive or negative impacts on our lives. Whether the transition is something that you are looking forward to, or it is something that you need to get use to, we must all learn how to cross into our next season of life still standing. Below you will find 5 steps that I use in my own life when navigating times of transition.  God's word promises us that "The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Deut 31:8 With that awesome promise we can hold our heads up high and trust that even during the times of stretching in our lives we will be victorious!

5 Steps for a Smooth Transition

1. Acknowledge the Change: This is so important, often times we find ourselves in the midst of transition and we don't know what to do. I have found in those times that I actively acknowledge that change is coming my way, I do better. The reason being, when I acknowledge what is before me - I begin to prepare what I can do on my end to walk through my transition with grace.
2. Don't be Afraid: Remember that bible verse you read a few moments ago? God always sends provision for the vision. Even if it feels scary or difficult rest in Him and trust that he will see you through!
3. Create a Plan: You know that saying "He who fails to plan is planning to fail." -Winston Churchill, it's true. You must have a plan when you are going through a transition. Having a plan will help on those days where you feel alone, discouraged, and frustrated. During those times, doing the next thing whether big or small will build your confidence and help you get to your next step.
4. Learn as much as you can: Typically times of transition are times for learning. What is God trying to teach you? What is He showing you during this time? If you don't journal, this would be a good time to start!
5. Keep Moving Forward: Sometimes when we are in a season of transition we can get stuck because it all seems so overwhelming. Trust me I know (remember I've got 4 kids 8 and under), but you still have to keep moving. Get help if you need it. Pray. Surround yourself with a community of family and friends that can hold you accountable and help propel you forward. Most important know and believe that you can do it!

Do you have different steps than the ones I use? Leave them in the comments below after all sharing is caring!

Grace in a Season of Transition: Why You Need It.

 

Have you ever waited for a long time for something to happen that you just knew would propel you into a better position? Just recently I went from spending four years home full time with my bunch, to having my littlest two (3 year old twins) start preschool. This is a moment that I have been dreaming of since I found out I was having twins.  I was on the fence about adding a third child to our family which consisted of a 2 year old and 4 year old. But I thought okay, I'm going to bite the bullet and get on board with my husbands dream for expanding our family. As life would have it at that very first doctor's appointment we found out we were having twins. That's right we got the bogo baby! From that moment I had to get my mind right because I was getting ready to have 4 kids under the age of 5.

Fast forward a few years, and I now have a 8 year old, a 6 year old, and 3 year old twins (whew!) and it's now time for mama to be released from what I affectionately call baby jail! You know, the season where all they want is mommy... I am sending my babies off to school part time. I finally get time back, and will get to focus on the things that I would like to do. It is finally time to focus on my calling.

Well, what I had been dreaming of for all of those years has not been the reality of what I am walking out this season. But, not in a bad way! You see it is so important to make sure that we manage our expectations no matter what season of life we are in. In this new season of not having the little ones under foot all day, I now have time to get my house in order. I have more time to get laundry done and meal plan for the family. I've had to shift my perspective as well as my expectations, because for sure I originally thought I was going to have all this time to focus on my calling. However, the reality is I am walking in my calling for this season.

With new seasons come new lessons to learn. In my case better systems to create for my family so the majority of the work around our home does not solely fall on me. So in this season of transition I'm learning to take each day and see what God has in store. In His word He reminds us Phil 4:6-7, "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;  and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." This is a word that I will be meditating on in this season. God knows the desires of my heart and He also knows how to get me to where I need to be. I've already learned in life that nothing is wasted and at each stage of the game there are things to be learned that prepare you for the next. Keeping all that in mind, I'm going to get my mind and heart in sync with God. I will be grateful for this time to get my house in order. The opportunity to pick my kids up from school and hear about their day which is a blessing. Learning how to get your “will” in line is so crucial to any successful transition. Once we’ve mastered this, our emotions will follow. When the next transition comes I will be ready how about you?

Are you in a season of transition? How are you handling your day to day? Do you have a scripture that you keep close to your heart to remind you of God's faithfulness? Feel free to share in the comments below!